Write an awesome groom speech title card

Write an awesome groom speech

10 Tips to help you write the awesome speech that was inside of you all along.

I go to a lot of weddings. A lot more than the average human being. So, I’ve seen a lot of grooms give speeches over the years. Some have fallen into the awesome groom speech category; some have been bad; and some have made me cringe harder than watching a politician try to talk to teenagers. Most groom speeches sit somewhere in the middle, which is fine… But if you want to elevate you speech from good to the “awesome groom speech” category then here are some simple tips to help.

As with so many other aspects of your wedding day, your groom speech should be uniquely you. Not a carbon copy, cut and paste job of someone else’s. If you follow some of these guidelines then hopefully your speech will no longer be something you’re dreading. It’ll be something you’re looking forward to… and your guests won’t have to watch it through their fingers.

awesome groom speech groom waving

1. Be yourself

I can’t stress how stupidly simple this tip is. It’s incredibly important in both writing and delivering an awesome groom speech.

We know how to be ourselves, we do it it every day. For some reason though, a lot of guys get given a microphone and immediately undergo a complete personality overhaul. Some think they’re Jimmy Carr live at the Apollo (minus the laughter). Some seem to think they’re DiCaprio at the Oscars, complete with overactive waterworks and long winded political statement.

It’s easy to panic at the very prospect of writing a speech. You’ll start looking for inspiration pretty much anywhere. STOP! Don’t read everyone else’s speeches. Don’t read hundreds of blogs on writing speeches (apart from this one obvs). Don’t ask everyone for their opinion. Your speech doesn’t have to win the Booker or Nobel prize. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

Just be you.

Write how you write.

Speak how you speak.

2. Keep your groom speech simple

Groom speech tick list: Thank, Tell, Toast

  • Thank people for attendance.
  • Thank parents.
  • Thank people for help.
  • Thank wife.
  • Tell people why you married her.
  • Toast wife.

If you hit all these points, congratulations! You have completed writing your groom speech. You can add more to this if there’s stuff that you really want to say (that’s not already been covered). However, these are the only points that you really need to hit. It’ll most likely happen that whilst writing these points you think of more things to add which is absolutely fine. But when you start writing your groom speech, focus on these things fisrt and you’ll have the vital parts sorted.

3. Have a plan and don’t stick to it

Improvisers and over-thinkers. These are the two most dangerous types of people when it comes to a writing an awesome groom speech. Improvisers will stand up with nothing but a list of people to thank and wing it. Some have the gift of the gab and nail it. Most ramble on for 20 minutes, continuously de-railed by whatever new thought comes into their… ooh cake!

The over-thinker on the other hand, will have written out their speech, condensed it down to bullet points, re-written it three times, spell checked it, had it proof read, fact checked, approved by a regulatory body… and then spent the last two days tweaking and worrying that they’ve left something out. Their speech will likely be 12 seconds of what they really want to say followed by 40 minutes of thank-you’s for fear of missing someone out.

Ideally you want to be somewhere in the middle. I’m not a perfect example but on my wedding day, I typed out a speech and read it from a piece of paper (if you do this remember not to hold it in front of your face or in front of your wife’s face for that matter). My best man had a number of bullet points on a number of cards. We both had a plan but occasionally went off script and both lost our place once in a while. But that’s totally fine. Don’t worry about going a little off piste or losing your place, the plan (whether it’s a pre-written speech or just some notes) is there to get you back on course. It’s just a wedding speech. The point of it is to thank people in the room. No one’s going to be holding up scorecards afterwards, there’s no pressure.

awesome groom speech joke telling

4. Relax! you’re with friends

Speaking of pressure… breathe! If the thought of delivering a speech is making you nervous, just breathe and think about it like this: It’s not actually a speech.

This is probably the only time in your life when everyone in the room is on your side. Everyone in the room wants the best for you. If they don’t, then they don’t really belong there do they. So, screw’em. Who cares what they think?

On this day, every single person in the room wants to congratulate and talk to you. They’ll probably also have no problem with you telling them individually how great your wife is or praising someone that helped you make it all happen. Now imagine having that same conversation over and over with every single person in the room. It would take forever and you’d never have time to eat cake or visit the bar. With your groom “speech” you are saving time and having that conversation with everyone at once. Which is obviously far more efficient.

Rather than thinking of it as you having to write your “awesome groom speech”, think of it more as you having a conversation with everyone at once. A conversation where, for once, Ian from next door can’t butt in to tell you about his new patio (though, depending on his prosecco consumption, he may try).     

 5. “top 10 Groom speech jokes”

Quickly go look at your search history (careful now)…  if the above search term appears in there, hang your head in shame.

Here’s the thing with Googling jokes: everyone is Googling the same jokes. If anyone has been to a couple of weddings in the past few years, they will already have heard your plagerised stand-up routine before. They probably didn’t laugh then either.

Don’t spend hours trying to crowbar jokes into your speech, you don’t have to be funny. If you’re not the sort of person that frequently comes up with the funnies, then no one is expecting you to start delivering them on your wedding day. However, you’re in an environment where you already have everyone on side. You don’t have to warm up the audience. I’ve never seen a groom that hasn’t raised a smile or a laugh from their guests simply by being themselves.

 6. It’s not how long it is, it’s what you do with it…

Now for some wedding night advice… hah jokes. We’re still talking about writing the groom speech here.

Your speech doesn’t need to be your magnum opus. You don’t want it to last as long as Hamlet. At the same time, it needs to last longer than the time it takes to read a postage stamp. The ten-minute mark is the holy grail for wedding speeches but aim for eight or nine as you will take longer than that on the day. It can’t be helped.

This goes for all of the other speakers as well. Tell them they have eight minutes. Having said that though, the groom’s speech does have more to cover than any other speech so it’s the only one that has the right to go over… but try not to.

Ten minutes is plenty of time to say everything that needs to be said without the guests getting bored.

awesome groom speech bride with a sword

 7. Save the gifts

Speaking of time limits, nothing uses up precious seconds like watching Gary from work navigate the assault course of chairs, tables and rogue handbags that is the reception room. Just so that he can claim his prize of a crate of obscure craft asles from the top table as thanks for supplying the wedding transport.

If you’ve brought gifts for various family members and friends, that’s awesome. You’re a lovely person. But don’t hand the gifts out during the speeches. It’s always incredibly awkward and slows everything down, especially when the groomsmen that you’ve told to take charge of the present giving forget where the presents are.

It’s much easier to tell people you have something for them in the speech, then give it when the speeches are over.

 8. Recite a famous Dutch speech

Go on. Recite one… Can’t think of any? What does that say about the effectiveness of Dutch courage eh?

Joking aside, alcohol may calm the nerves but it can also make you look like a prat. I’ve seen many well thought out groom speeches ruined by an excess of red, white and fizz.

It’s very easy to lose count of the drinks on your wedding day. Whisky for breakfast, pre-ceremony pint, prosecco for lunch, cocktails with canapes followed by a minefield of mealtime plonk. Don’t forget to drink some water in-between your alcoholic beverages. Then feel free to say no to a couple of well meaning well wishers with willing wallets, else you’ll be inundated with congratulatory ales. It also helps you remain upright for the majority of your first dance too…

 9. don’t thank everyone

Firstly, you don’t need to thank every single person in the room. I’ve been to a wedding where that happened. People fell asleep. Stick to thanking the people that have really helped you out in the run up to your day. You don’t need to thank Aunty Hannah for making you dinner last week.

Also don’t dwell on each thank-you. By all means thank Gary for lending you his Aston Martin this morning, but don’t recount the story of the weird night out the pair of you had in a Northern Quarter microbrewery in the summer of 2015.

Secondly, you don’t need to thank the suppliers individually. You’ve literally paid us to be there. It’s not like the venue manager is arranging tables as a personal favour to you. Unless a supplier has gone above and beyond at great personal cost, then a simple “Thank-you to all the suppliers and venue staff that have made today happen” will suffice.

That, and a glowing Google or Facebook review… (That’s honestly the best way you can thank us).

 10. Remember why you’re here

I’ve already mentioned numerous times: you’re not here to deliver the world’s greatest groom speech and win the adulations of adoring fans. You’re here for one reason. You’ve just married your best friend. So, don’t forget about your wife.

Your wedding isn’t just about this one day, it’s the start of a new chapter in your life. It doesn’t feel right to mark the occasion by speaking solely about other people. I once went to a wedding where none of the speeches mentioned the bride. It was incredibly awkward.

Now is the chance to win some major Husband points (they’re a thing, though my wife has yet to tell me how many I need for a helicopter). If you’re ever going to do it, now is the time to publicly tell her how awesome she is and why you chose her over the countless other admirers I’m sure you had. You don’t have to be soppy; you don’t have to recite poetry or serenade her unless that’s the way to her heart (and you really want that helicopter). Be sincere and speak from the heart like it’s just the two of you there . Even if she says she hates that sort of thing, everyone secretly likes to be told they’re amazing.

Planning a wedding?

 It’s all a little overwhelming isn’t it?

We’ve been there. If you want a little help or some ideas from people that go to weddings… a lot, then we can help. We’ve sat down and written loads more wedding planning advice for you here

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